3 Ways To Avoid The Grass Is Always Greener Mental Trap
The grass is beautiful when it's green, but it needs water and sun. It gets eaten by bugs. It dies. Then it doesn't look very nice.
It's who we are. We often chase greener pasture to find out what we saw was a mirage.
The grass-is-always-greener syndrome is deep-rooted in our DNA.
As humans, we're never content. The moment we get what we want, our minds begin to drift.
We imagine we can have it better.
But what's better? Is it a reality? A dream? A fantasy?
Once we get too close to the grass, to that new thing we're pursuing, we find out it's not so green after all.
We see it happen in marriages all the time.
A spouse cheats chasing greener pastures. It all comes tumbling down when reality sets in. The pasture wasn't so great after all.
A young woman who worked for me came back looking for the job she had, saying, "nothing compares to here."
She was excited about greener pastures because of what a bad team member who had many problems of their own told her. She didn't realize how great she had it.
She was duped.
She was in the green pasture.
Seeking greener pastures is embedded within us.
To help see the forest beyond the trees…
Make things new and exciting where you're at in life.
Knowing that this is part of our DNA, it's important to relish in the present moment.
Life isn't perfect.
There will be areas you feel great about and areas you're not happy about.
In your career, take on new challenges and have fun with your team members.
Step out of the box.
Learn a challenging skill that can be applied to your career.
If all you're doing is listen to the people bicker and complain, then you're going to fall trap to their life.
See the pasture for what you're making of it, not what other people are saying and playing victim to.
Get excited about life.
Find things you're purposely passionate about.
Morten Hansen talks about this in his book, "Great At Work: How Top Performers, Do Less, Work Better, & Achieve More."
Passion comes from doing the things you love. It's what get's you excited and motivated.
There's also a limit to your passion.
Underwater basket weaving won't get you very far in your career.
Your passions need to combine purpose and doing what contributes.
As a child, I hated writing. I hated reading. The teachers assigned the class boring books to read from a century ago. They tried to force me to write in cursive.
It was horrible.
My ADD restricted me to read only the first sentence of an assigned book. Thank you, ADD.
I can barely read my handwriting now. Imagine if I wrote in cursive. It would look like my own language.
As a child, I was shy and hated being center stage. It was the infant introvert in me.
As the years progressed and I began my career, I saw incredible purpose in reading, writing, and negotiating.
I began to absorb myself in books. I found hundreds of successful mentors through the pages.
One is my current business adviser today.
I also noticed that writing is an incredible skill, so I began to practice it. Writing blogs, reading copywriting books, and taking courses.
I did the same for developing my negotiation skills.
These small acts, over time, created immense value for my life.
The writing helped get the word out, to educate current and future clients, and generate awareness.
The negotiation skills connected with our company goals.
Over time I became passionate about these areas.
Deeply passionate.
My fears grew into passions over time, because I connected purpose to them.
Be grateful for what you have. Say it out loud and say it often.
You see a beautiful person and wish your spouse resembled them.
You watch your friend in their career and wish you had a j-o-b just like her.
Chasing the next best thing is embedded in our human behavior. It's what's helped us grow as a species.
In modern-day society, it's also what gets us to buy into marketing tactics, psychological espionage, and getting caught chasing the Golden Goose.
Everything looks better than what you already have.
It's a mirage.
Your friend's career sucks. Or they're never home with their family. There are many things you don't see.
The person who seems happy is miserable.
Look at your life and be grateful for what you have. Life isn't going to be perfect, but it's worth being thankful for.
You're alive. That's all the perfect you need.
Be grateful that your spouse is loving, caring, and always there for you. Most people won't be.
Be grateful your spouse is an amazing mother/father to your children.
Be grateful that your career pays you well and gives you life flexibility.
Be grateful that you're doing something fun and different.
Be grateful for life. The grass isn't always greener. Grass dies.
