How To Communicate Effectively In A World Of Chatter
I asked him if he heard me. I could see it in his eyes. I was a glass door, and his thoughts were on the other side.
He looked right through me. He was trapped in his head, thinking about what he was going to say next.
Jeff Weiner, the former CEO of LinkedIn, has reported the number one skill employers are looking for in current employees, and new hires are communication skills.
I’ve also witnessed thousands of written communication murder scenes like this one:
I’ve been guilty of it. Not this bad.
An email like this is insane. Especially if he used Grammarly, it would be screaming, NO, don’t send!
With intentional practice, you can learn how to communicate effectively.
Determine what’s in it for them and set the stage using their language.
We love to hear ourselves talk. Our internal dialogue does it all day long.
Don’t be shy. I know you talk to yourself.
We're selfish.
We want to talk about things we care about, are interested in, and can benefit from.
It's a common saying in sales that you have to tune the client into their radio station, WIIFM (What's In It For Me.)
When you speak in terms of what the other person wants, they begin to listen.
It's right in all situations. Before you speak, determine what's in it for them.
What're their goals, likes, dislikes, passions, and struggles?
Once you've established their motivations, use their language to relay your point.
Imagine you're working on a project with a colleague, and she's stressed. She wants to manage her time better.
When following up on a project, you can start the conversation by saying,
“Hi Jill, I know managing your time is important and what I want for you is to be able to achieve that. Do you have five minutes to discuss the ABC project, so we’re focusing our attention on the right things?
Use motivations and criteria when speaking to others.
If you want to communicate effectively, simplify what you're saying into concise points.
Nobody want's to read a jumbled sentence or hear someone ramble for ten minutes.
If I see an email with a block of text, I delete it.
It's hard to read. It's a waste of time. It's a mental block.
When communicating, you have to break what you're saying down into simple, concise points.
If it's in written form, that means all the essential details at the top, short paragraphs, concise sentences, and break up key points using indented bullets and numbers.
It will help you edit text and give you advice on how to word your sentences for more impact.
When you have a complex topic to discuss, use verbal communication. Only use written communication to recap the details and follow up.
Don't overwhelm the other person with too much information.
One concise point at a time.
Ask questions and listen.
If you want the other person to engage with what you're saying, ask them questions, and listen.
Remember, WIIFM?
The other person cares about themselves.
When you engage them with a question, and if you word it correctly, they begin to answer with their thoughts, motivations, interests, and desires.
It excites them.
Actively listen. Recite what they said.
If you're not listening to the other person, then you're wasting your time - and theirs.
Communication is a dynamic, multi-dimensional conversation.
If you like to hear yourself talk, then congrats, use a mirror.
Actively listening shows the other person you're paying attention to; it taps into empathy and emotional intelligence.
To understand the other person recite what they said.
You can also have them recite what you said. It's a great test to see if they're listening.
Of course Jill, I understand. You feel that updating the procedure will cut processing time and shipping throughput. What’s your idea on the first step?
Communication takes many forms, but if you want to learn how to communicate effectively, start using these tips.
P.S. If you don't yet have Grammarly, it's a no-brainer to savvy up your communication skills. It does most of the editing work for you. Try it out.
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