The Obstacle Is the Way By Ryan Holiday
Rating: 10/10
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We think of an obstacle as a barrier, a block, but if you have a goal, they're teaching you how to get where you want.
"It begins with how we look at our specific problems, our attitude or approach; then the energy and creativity with which we actively break them down and turn them into opportunities; finally, the cultivation and maintenance of an inner will that allows us to handle defeat and difficulty."
Perception
We must see things as straightforward as they are. They're neither good nor bad.
When you see things correctly, it's a chance to keep moving forward, no matter how big the obstacle or tragedy.
We must try these things when faced with what seems like an insurmountable obstacle:
"To be objective.
To control emotions and keep an even keel
To choose to see the good in a situation.
To steady our nerves.
To ignore what disturbs or limits others.
To place things in perspective.
To revert to the present moment.
To focus on what can be controlled."
The opportunity from the obstacle doesn't magically appear. "It is a process—one that results from self-discipline and logic.
"There is always a countermove, always an escape or a way through, so there is no reason to get worked up. No one said it would be easy and, of course, the stakes are high, but the path is there for those ready to take it."
"When people panic, they make mistakes."
"They override systems. They disregard procedures, ignore rules. They deviate from the plan. They become unresponsive and stop thinking clearly. They just react—not to what they need to react to, but to the survival hormones that are coursing through their veins."
Obstacles make us emotional. Emotions make us do stupid things, and "the only way we'll survive or overcome them is by keeping those emotions in check—if we can keep steady no matter what happens, no matter how much external events may fluctuate."
Mantras help in these types of situations. Don't let negativity in. Don't let emotions fuel your flame. Just tell yourself, "No, thank you. I can't afford to panic."
Or keep repeating, "I am not going to die from this. I am not going to die from this. I am not going to die from this."
"Objectivity means removing "you"—the subjective part—from the equation."
Don't ignore fear, but rather, explain it away. "Take what you're afraid of—when fear strikes you—and break it apart."
We choose how we look at things. We choose the assumptions and assign meaning.
"Remember: We choose how we'll look at things. We retain the ability to inject perspective into a situation. We can't change the obstacles themselves—that part of the equation is set—but the power of perspective can change how the obstacles appear. How we approach, view, and contextualize an obstacle, and what we tell ourselves it means, determines how daunting and trying it will be to overcome."
Perception comes before action, and the right action comes after the right perspective.
We waste time on things we cannot control, which is a lot. "Focusing exclusively on what is in our power magnifies and enhances our power."
The real secret is taking things day by day. Live for today. "Focus on the moment, not the monsters that may or may not be up ahead."
Every situation gives us the opportunity to act.
"The extent of the struggle determines the extent of the growth. The obstacle is an advantage, not adversity."
"Problems are rarely as bad as we think—or rather, they are precisely as bad as we think."
Action
Action is the cure to our issues.
So, you have something challenging to accomplish. "Don't focus on that. Instead break it down into pieces. Simply do what you need to do right now. And do it well. And then move on to the next thing. Follow the process and not the prize."
Disorder and distraction are death. "The unordered mind loses track of what's in front of it—what matters—and gets distracted by thoughts of the future. The process is order, it keeps our perceptions in check and our actions in sync."
All that matters is,
to try hard.
to be honest.
to help others and ourselves.
Think progress, not perfection.
When you're straining, approach if from the "line of least expectation." "Take a step back, then go around the problem. Find some leverage."
Leverage can be working with others. "You don't convince people by challenging their longest and most firmly held opinions. You find common ground and work from there."
"Sometimes you overcome obstacles not by attacking them but by withdrawing and letting them attack you. You can use the actions of others against themselves instead of acting yourself."
Other times, just be patient. "Sometimes in your life you need to have patience—wait for temporary obstacles to fizzle out."
"Every positive has its negative. Every negative has its positive. The action is in the pushing through—all the way through to the other side."
Saul Alinsky believed that if you "push a negative hard enough and deep enough it will break through into its counterside."
Act instead of act out.
"To be physically and mentally loose takes no talent. That's just recklessness. (We want right action, not action period.) To be physically and mentally tight? That's called anxiety. It doesn't work, either. Eventually we snap. But physical looseness combined with mental restraint? That is powerful."
With every problem, there's an opportunity. In sales, when a client brings my team an issue, I call it another sales opportunity.
As Grant Cardone has said, "when there's cranes are in the air, beware." Be cautious when everything is good.
"What you must do is learn how to press forward precisely when everyone around you sees disaster."
"Perceptions can be managed. Actions can be directed. We can always think clearly, respond creatively. Look for opportunity, seize the initiative."
What we can't do is control the world around us.
Some obstacles may be impossible to overcome. They're bigger than us. When that happens, it's not "necessarily a bad thing. Because we can turn that obstacle upside down, too, simply by using it as an opportunity to practice some other virtue or skill—even if it is just learning to accept that bad things happen, or practicing humility."
Just remember, "in every situation, that which blocks our path actually presents a new path with a new part of us. If someone you love hurts you, there is a chance to practice forgiveness. If your business fails, now you can practice acceptance. If there is nothing else you can do for yourself, at least you can try to help others."
Will
Will is our internal power. The outside world can never affect our will.
Lincoln's favorite saying was, "This too shall pass." He believed this was applicable to every situation one could encounter.
Perception and Action are the disciplines of the mind and the body.
Will is the discipline of the heart and the soul.
"Certain things in life will cut you open like a knife. When that happens—at that exposing moment—the world gets a glimpse of what's truly inside you. So what will be revealed when you're sliced open by tension and pressure? Iron? Or air? Or bullshit?"
"We can think, act, and finally adjust to a world that is inherently unpredictable."
"Will is what prepares us for this, protects us against it, and allows us to thrive and be happy in spite of it. It is also the most difficult of all the disciplines."
"Nobody is born with a steel backbone. We have to forge that ourselves."
This is why Stoicism preaches Premeditation Malorum. It's a premortem. "We look to envision what could go wrong, what will go wrong, in advance, before we start."
"Your plan and the way things turn out rarely resemble each other."
External factors rule our world.
"Promises aren't kept. You don't always get what is rightfully yours, even if you earned it. Not everything is as clean and straightforward as the games they play in business school. Be prepared for this."
Manage your expectations.
Beware the calm before the storm. "Hope for the best, prepare for the worst."
So what. People call you a pessimist, who cares.
"It's far better to seem like a downer than to be blindsided or caught off guard. It's better to meditate on what could happen, to probe for weaknesses in our plans, so those inevitable failures can be correctly perceived, appropriately addressed, or simply endured."
Things can ALWAYS be worse. "Not to be glib, but the next time you: Lose money? Remember, you could have lost a friend. Lost that job? What if you'd lost a limb?"
"To do great things, we need to be able to endure tragedy and setbacks. We've got to love what we do and all that it entails, good and bad. We have to learn to find joy in every single thing that happens."
"The goal is:
Not: I'm okay with this.
Not: I think I feel good about this.
But: I feel great about it. Because if it happened, then it was meant to happen, and I am glad that it did when it did. I am meant to make the best of it."
Life is about many obstacles, not just one. We need the "determination that we will get to where we need to go, somehow, someway, and nothing will stop us."
The world can constrain our actions, but our will cannot. "Our plans—even our bodies—can be broken. But belief in ourselves? No matter how many times we are thrown back, we alone retain the power to decide to go once more. Or to try another route. Or, at the very least, to accept this reality and decide upon a new aim".
Stop putting the selfish I in front of events. I, I, I. I did this. I had that. "No wonder you take losses personally, no wonder you feel so alone. You've inflated your own role and importance."
"Start thinking: Unity over Self. We're in this together."
"Help your fellow humans thrive and survive, contribute your little bit to the universe before it swallows you up, and be happy with that. Lend a hand to others. Be strong for them, and it will make you stronger."
Remember Memento Mori. You are MORTAL. "In the shadow of death, prioritization is easier."
"On the contrary, the more you accomplish, the more things will stand in your way. There are always more obstacles, bigger challenges. You're always fighting uphill. Get used to it and train accordingly."
"First, see clearly. Next, act correctly. Finally, endure and accept the world as it is."
There's a saying in Latin: Vires acquirit eundo (We gather strength as we go). "That's how it works. That's our motto."
"See things for what they are. Do what we can. Endure and bear what we must. What blocked the path now is a path. What once impeded action advances action. The Obstacle is the Way."
