5 Ultimate Tactics To Expose Someone's True Nature
Everyone wears a mask.
We wear them for many reasons, but the broad explanation is that we use them to hide key aspects of who we truly are. Our mask is the facade we use to portray a certain image. People wear masks for many reasons; to fit in, to avoid embarrassment, or to manipulate others. Some masks are kind, while others are evil.
That's why learning to read people, to see the truth behind the mask, is a valuable life skill.
As Marie Lu wrote: “The irony of life is that those who wear masks often tell us more truths than those with open faces.”
It all starts with being an active observer.
Most people miss the intentions of others because they're so caught up in their own thoughts.
You have to be like a curious child. Don't make observing others difficult.
Start small:
"In a casual conversation with someone, give yourself the goal of observing one or two facial expressions that seem to go against what the person is saying or indicate some additional information. Be attentive to microexpressions, quick flashes on the face of tension, or forced smiles."
Make it a game of trying to interpret others beyond what they're expressing out into the world.
Once you start to practice observing, begin to look for these five signs:
1. Identify their daily habits.
People are the physical and mental representation of their daily habits.
It’s like the saying “you are what you eat”; daily habits shape people and define the kind of person they become.
What they do every day is their identity.
People never do anything just once. They will undoubtedly repeat their behaviors.
Robert Greene says,
"They might try to excuse themselves, to say they lost their heads in the moment, but you can be sure they will repeat whatever foolishness they did on another occasion, compelled by their character and habits. In fact, they will often repeat actions when it is completely against their self-interest, revealing the compulsive nature of their weaknesses."
Observe their daily habits to unmask them.
2. Watch them in stressful situations.
It's in these moments that people's true character is revealed.
"Tension can reveal flaws in people that they have carefully concealed from view. It is often wise to observe people in such moments precisely as a way to judge their true character," says Robert.
Most people struggle to keep their masks on during difficult moments.
Robert explains the phenomenon "that people will tend to leak out more of their true feelings, and certainly hostile ones, when they are drunk, sleepy, frustrated, angry, or under stress. They will later tend to excuse this, as if they weren't themselves for the moment, but in fact, they were actually being more themselves than ever."
All you have to do is observe and take notes.
3. Notice how they treat people who serve them in some way.
These people can be waitresses, firefighters, nurses, or whoever, but how they treat them is an indication of their true nature. Are they impolite? Dismissive? Rude? Demanding? These are all excellent things to know about someone.
"Look at how they treat employees in everyday settings and notice if there are discrepancies between the persona they present and their attitude toward underlings.
4. Observe how they act with small things.
A simple sign of someone's true character is how they handle everyday affairs:
If they are late with simple assignments, they'll be late with larger ones.
If they get irritated by little annoyances, they'll crumble under the weight of larger ones.
If they're inattentive to small details, they'll do the same for important ones.
What they do with the small things is what they'll do with the big things.
5. Inspect how they treat the people closest to them.
Most people are more comfortable around their family and friends.
Unfortunately for some, the people closest to them accept certain behaviors that a stranger or acquaintance wouldn't dare tolerate. How they act around people they're most comfortable with is the ultimate sign of their true nature.
Look for signs of rudeness, meanness, disrespect, passive aggression, condescension, or narcissism.
Use these simple tactics to slowly unmask people, one moment after the next, revealing who they truly are.
And as a final reminder for us all...
As T. Rafael Cimino wrote in his novel A Battle of Angels: “Long after people forget what you said or did, they’ll remember how you made them feel.”
