9 Tiny Tips To Transform Your Confidence In 30 Days or Less
Some days I feel like I wear a cape and can do anything.
Other days, although rare, my thoughts start to scold me, like I'm a prisoner in my mind. "You're not smart enough, fast enough, or handsome enough." "Essentially, everything you do is shit."
I'm a victim of my thoughts.
We all go through moments of ups and downs — that's a natural part of living.
You can't have the good without the bad.
I often feel the most insecure in large groups.
The people, the noise, all of it makes me edgy. It could stem from some unaddressed trauma from my past, or the easiest thing to blame is I'm introverted.
For most of my career, I despised industry conferences. Who am I kidding? I still hate them.
I never felt like I belonged:
"How do I start this conversation?"
"No way am I walking up to someone I don't know!"
"This sucks! Get me out of here."
But, over the years, I've learned ways to build my confidence to fight back and blast through insecurities even when my mind treats me like I'm nothing.
If you ask anyone who has been with me for more than a day, they will say I'm one of the more confident people they know — because of how I speak and carry myself. People never believe me when I tell them I'm deeply introverted. Instead, they laugh and think I'm joking.
Why does this all matter?
Because you can build confidence and learn to blast past insecurities.
That's what I've done.
Now I have an international team, on my way to $100 million in yearly revenue, I write, speak, and often do things that make me feel deeply uncomfortable.
Here are nine tricks I've used to boost my confidence, and you can too:
Tip 1: Know yourself.
Most people don't honestly know themselves.
All they know is the manifestations of thought that pull them into the past or dreams about the future. But, to become confident, you must be self-aware and know your triggers.
When you know the symptoms, you can treat the disease with the right medicine.
Tip 2: Adopt mantras to break through mental barriers.
A mantra is a statement that's repeated frequently.
The repetition and meaning are what puts you into a mental trance. When I repeat one of my mantras, it transforms my mind.
Here are a few I use regularly:
"Don't be a B!tch!"
Or, as David Goggins says, "Silence your inner b!tch." This mantra helps me push through difficult moments or times I'm making excuses not to be disciplined.
"Good!"
This mantra comes from Jocko Willink:
" If you can say the word good, it means you're still alive. It means you're still breathing. And if you're still breathing, you still have some fight left in you. Get up. Dust off. Reload. Recalibrate. Reengage. And go out on the attack."
"Be here now."
The book "The Power of Now" really influenced my life.
I use this mantra to bring me back to the present moment. That's the only time we really have.
The past is gone, and the future may never come — so be here now.
Tip 3: Exercise daily.
When you're healthy and in shape, you feel better about yourself.
I used to weigh 250 lbs, and although I was strong, I was insecure. Until I lost fifty pounds, and then eventually another twenty, I didn't realize how you fuel your mind and body impacts how you feel.
If you want to feel good, eat well, and move your body.
Remember:
Shitty inputs = shitty outputs
Tip 4: Prioritize sleep.
I'm an entirely different person when I don't sleep well.
Your physical being needs a balance of REM, light, and deep sleep. So when you're not sleeping well, you're not performing at your highest potential.
Often, poor sleep makes you an entirely different person — and a not-so-confident or kind one.
Every day, seek to optimize your sleep:
Tip 5: Do uncomfortable things daily.
You might think doing easy and comforting things will make you confident, but it doesn't.
On the surface, you'll overestimate how great you are, but you know you're acting like a fraud deep down. You only get better by doing difficult things daily.
You create muscle memory and growth when you push yourself beyond your mental limits.
Every day, be a disciple of discipline.
Tip 6: Hold a confident posture.
Confident people have confident postures.
Then don't look at the ground, slouch, or close themselves off. They're straight and open. They radiate different energy. You can feel it when you're around them.
Keep your chin up, back straight, and shoulders pulled slightly back.
Tip 7: Look people in the eyes.
But staring is creepy.
Instead, look the other person in the eyes, or you might find it easier to look at one eye when speaking to them. Then, after a few seconds of eye contact, look at something else and return to their eyes.
Tip 8: Frequently smile at other people.
Smiling changes how you feel.
It loosens you up and makes you happy, creating an organic confidence. One that's genuine, friendly, and pleasant to be around.
While walking, keep your head up and randomly make eye contact with someone and smile.
Tip 9: Be helpful.
Confident people create value in some way.
They might be doing it for selfish reasons, while others want to help others; either way, they're giving something to others. Whether it's the confident sales professional who helps clients transform their company or a confident mother who is teaching her kids how to be incredible humans and setting an example with her actions and how she carries herself.
Find ways to be generous and helpful throughout the day.
All these helped me transform a fat, introverted, insecure teenager into a fit, athletic dad of three running a successful global company.
It's possible; you have to work at it every day.
Start with tip one today, and then move to tip two tomorrow. Repeat and rotate these every day and watch how you transform your confidence.
